On Friday during lunch
I told my intern colleague, "Halfway through."
"Today?" she asked
"No, my entire internship," I replied
She asked if I felt this way the last time I was here
No, I didn't
I thought of giving up, many times, but I never really wanted to leave
It's not like I want to leave NOW, I just can't wait for this to be over
Maybe I'm tired
Of this company? Not really
Of this job? Not really, maybe a little
Of this department maybe
I'm biased
Haiz halfway through

。尋找中@21:30

I worked for 9 days in a row from last Monday to this Tuesday and finally had my day off on Wednesday. Went to Iluma at Bugis with Shiyan and Sieyen and watched "Angels and Demons" at Filmgarde. The cinema was freaking empty cuz that place is really new and not many people knew of its existence. Anyway, the Filmgarde cinema is damn freaking cold!!! "A&D" is an excellent show though. Seemingly more complex, but more understandable than "Da Vinci Code", good pace, amazing setting. I want to read the book! We went for lunch at Empire State and dessert at BerryLite. I think I'll frequent BerryLite more often in future.

I bought a new watch! I want to get a scarf to wrap my hands cuz jackets don't work. Bugis has nice scarfs, but not very cheap. Toa Payoh has cheap scarfs, but not very nice. Anyway, I saw this thing at TP Central about two weeks ago and thought for damn long before deciding yesterday that I want to get that. But it was no longer in stock. Grr. But then, I discovered a nice shoe shop in TP Central! Shoes at $22 now. I might buy something from there soon.

Random post... Off for breakfast, then out for work...

。尋找中@07:14

Congratulations to all my friends who cannot or refuse to read Chinese!
I'm going to blog in English.
I think I might be too precise if i blog in Chinese.

I think I'm angry.
I think.
Because I'm not angry to the extent of flaring up.
First, I don't flare up.
Second, I don't know for sure.
Third, It's not that bad.
Fourth, I don't have the rights.

I see my headline.
I see my standfirst.
I don't see my text.
I don't see my name. (Duh, it's not my text.)
(I'm not talking about papers, so go figure.)

I feel condemned.
For this, and more.
For something which I'm not even supposed to be good in.
Something I cannot even learn.
Something that is not me.

Why not give me a chance?

I have a feeling I'm being transferred away rather than transferred to.
I have no proof.
I don't want a proof.
I actually feel bad doubting.
I just have a feeling.

Am I happy where I am?
I would have been.
I just don't like being thrown around.

I like to be in control.
I guess I just don't have any now.

。尋找中@09:04

A lot happened this week.
Actually, no.
I feel like I haven't been doing much at work.
Have been waiting for contacts to come in and waiting to do phone interviews.

I finally started feeling excited about working in U-Weekly, thinking that although it is vastly different from what I expected to do, it will be an extremely fun and memorable experience.
But I got transferred into Shin Min for good.
I started feeling pissed.
But then, isn't this what I came here to do? What I'm actually better at doing (better than matching outfits at least).
I just haven't been doing much while everyone around me is tapping away on their keyboards furiously.

Interestingly, I'm working both days this weekend.
What a shock!
I was supposed to be not working on both days as I was still going by U-Weekly schedule.
But our newsroom is seriously shorthanded.
So I'm working both days.
Therefore I'm not going for FOC carwash nor dimsum with my family.
To reward myself as I'm probably going to work for 9 days straight (I'm going to try to make Wed my off day), I bought a Magnum Dark!
It cost me $3.90!!!
But it's the first time I'm trying a Magnum!

Anyway I went back to WB twice this week!
Haiz I still feel more comfortable in WB and with WB editors and colleagues.
Cannot help it; I spent almost half a year in WB.
No way I'll grow closer with SM people, although the interns and editors are all really nice.
Haha when I go back to WB, I just blab about how I prefer WB to SM.
I just feel so comfortable talking to them.
Maybe cuz I'm not working there.

I'm so 投缘 with the intern at WB!
I've only met her twice and we can speak non-stop!
Who says I'm quiet? =P
I'm so sad she didn't get the scholarship. =(
Wish her all the best though!
I wonder how's the other WB intern like.
I don't seem very close with SM interns leh. =X

I feel bad.
I don't feel like sending out those two assignments cuz I want to do.
I don't mind extra work.
I intend to make those days my off days and go for those assignments.
Can I Can I Can I?
Writers please don't kill me. =X

。尋找中@20:41

Audrey! I enlarged the text! Read yourself!

实在是太超过了！
呵呵，搬回家都两个星期了，房间还像个重灾区。
懒惰到个极点...
开工后更是如此...

开工第一天
我tio了一个fashion assignment
我被叫出去逛街shopping
很好命hor?
结果借回来的衣服被批太“黑白”，不符合夏日风
收工前
我又tio了个美食专题

开工第二天
继续美食专题的research
早上都在打电话安排
下午跑了两间相关的店
但是没借到任何衣服
回到办公室
上司杀出了一句：你的进度让我心跳加速...
我听了才真的心跳加速勒！

开工第三天
上司把两位原本应该休假的同事叫回来支援我
一位替我搞定了两家店
另一位去了三家，但两家出了问题，所以又去了多两家
麻烦她们了，真是不好意思！
我自己又去了三家店
也借回多几件色彩鲜艳，hopefully够夏天的衣服

开工第四天
早上解决了fashion shoot
拍完product shoot后
上司本来要我亲自换上那些衣服
我直接告诉她我穿不下
完全穿不下
其实我是故意借小尺寸的
也不是我不敬业ok...
因为我根本就不是在找我可以穿的衣服
在我的服装字典里没有夏天，没有五彩缤纷的搭配
结果又麻烦同事当模特儿
接下来就是整理美食专题的资料

开工第五天
继续整理美食专题
继续催受访者把照片寄过来
终于做完了！
几乎啦
就少了某种食物的照片
结果特地跑到附近的巴刹买了几颗回来拍
摄影师竟然不要帮我，叫我自己拍！
拍了半天，乱七八糟
fashion shoot的照片也有问题！
摄影师拍了竟然没放入server
我要用的时候当然就找不到
又碰巧他休假or something，星期二才回来
跟他要密码好让我自行取照片，重视隐私的他不肯给
上司又在催
ok我或许应该早一点跟他要
但是摄影师拍了照片不是应该自动放入server吗？
不然拍给你自己收吗？
我是没跟他吵啦，一直保持超有礼貌的态度，因为总不好开工第一个星期就跟同事闹翻
但是还是有点咄咄逼人啦
因此，我决定要学好摄影，日后亲力亲为，不靠别人
可是，拜托，我还需要点时间！

As you can see from above, 开工第一个星期不是很愉快
上司什么也不说清楚，就expect me to know everything
拜托，format and style总得教一下吧
我不是第一次当记者，没错
但是，在这里当记者，是第一次
What's with expecting me to know everything?!
Fine, I should ask right...
Oh well...

1 down, 7 to go...
But I'm not denying the possibility that I might love this job after this
I do want to try more assignments too, but I feel like my上司lost faith in me or something
I guess I need some time

Urgh, I hope nobody mentioned sees this post
I just had to get these out of my mind

。尋找中@23:20

开工第一天，我遇到我从事报业工作以来的最大挑战——FAAASHION~我的天呀！好，先让我从头说起...

惊喜（一）：原来我的薪水没缩水！至于到底是多少，我就不便多说。想知道的话，请去挖我的archive，看我有没有提过。

惊喜（二）：我的通行证有照片耶！Haha cheap thrill...

惊喜（三）：人事部的SC把我带到《优一周》办公室。虽然我还是过着游牧民族般的生活，我还挺喜欢那里的环境的。或许因为同办公室的《早报》同时还未开工，环境相当清幽（FYI那个办公室超大的）。

惊喜到此为止。接下来都是惊吓。

惊吓（一）：原来我不是被派到《优一周》；我是被派到《优一周／新明》。可是我还挺庆幸被派到《新明》的，因为至少做的是新闻。至于《优一周》，我好像是在生活组，所以大明星应该是见不到了。That's besides the point anyway.

惊吓（二）：我被带到《新明》办公室后，几乎马上就开工了。他们也没告诉我who's who和where's what。所以工作了一整天，我只知道两个人的名字。就连一起吃午餐的主任，我也不怎么清楚她是谁，因为他们只介绍我给她认识，并没有告诉我她是谁（我后来也不好意思问啦）。

惊吓（三）：之前没有Lotus Notes就算了，现在连电脑户口都有问题，下班了也还没搞定。所以，我现在只能用主任的户口。

惊吓（四）：电脑是LKK的Windows！中文输入软体超麻烦的，提字功能可是越帮越忙。Internet Windows也不能开new tab，一开就是new window。

惊吓王中王：我接到的第一份assignment竟然是要找衣服来做服装搭配！原本是不用我做搭配工作的，只是后来出了点问题，本小姐只好亲自出马。可是，众所周知，我一点fashion sense都没有。T-shirt and Jeans走天下！而且还不止如此喔，这服装搭配可是有主题的！可是，我找回来的服装，不是黑白，就是米灰，完全不符合主题。我自己也有发现，所以最后找了几件有颜色的，可是大多还是黑白米灰。说实话，我真的是看到彩色的衣服就不知所措喔。最糟的是，我花了两个小时，只借到8件单品。加上2件某某厂商同意出借的，也只有10件。其实，我是配得出设定的组合，可是实在难以符合我们的主题。Speaking of colourful，我还在挂念我的宝蓝色平肩针织罩衫。或许我应该就买下，然后看看可不可以派上用场。好啦，细节也不方便多说，虽然好像已经说了很多，但是却没有说到重点，没有破了报道的惊喜，还是值得一看的！看我怎么搞惨fashion，看fashion怎么搞死我！

惊吓中的惊喜：那位我不知道她名字的主任说家慧很喜欢我喔！家慧姐姐，救救我！保健新闻最棒了！我是说真的啦...最好读的是fashion，可是做起来可要了我的命！但是，想当初，保健新闻也是做多了才驾轻就熟，所以希望fashion也有这么一天咯！好在我还有另一个类似fashion的工作，是我还挺爱的哟！

一点也不“吓”：今天一直在整理食谱，闷死了！也不是嫌这份工作，因为之前也常做。只是今天整理的食谱的“原著”语文能力超差的，可真是“整”死我了。老实说，可别小看这份小差，可有挑战性的呢！

明早有活动要出席！不是什么精彩绝伦的大事件，但至少较为熟悉。

今早到《新明》的途中经过《晚报》，感觉好亲切、好熟悉喔...我想念《晚报》嘞...看到熟悉的大家，不知道有没有人看到我...=(我超想跑回去跟主任们say Hello的！大家～

。尋找中@20:23

我又看上一件蓝色／紫色平肩针织罩衫！怎么办！Ok lah, at least this is only $15... Maybe I'll buy it... Haha

。尋找中@18:57

1989年的小蛇们逐一迈入2x岁的阶段，朋友们也开始埋怨自己老了。光是上个月，就有三位友人正式迈入人生的另一个阶段。呵呵，我总会得意地开玩笑说，我还有半年！（嘿，我是蛇尾射手座！）

今天，我出门血拼一趟，发现自己也老了！

在XXXX的宏茂桥分店，隔壁更衣间的安娣开玩笑说，我应该学习她的服装搭配，才不会看起来像30岁。（Story background：我妈问人家30岁了没。那是个称赞，不是吗！安娣显然年过30，想必也离40大关不远了。）靠！安娣，开玩笑也要张开眼睛瞧清楚， 好不好！（难道我看起来真的那么老？！）

会到大巴窑，我去了XXXX（对，是同一个品牌的分店）。我认得店里的服务员。一年前到那里去也是她。（记忆如此深刻是因为我经常路过。记忆力还不错，我 也没那么老嘛。可是...老人家对过去的事情好像记得特别清楚，不是吗？）Anyway，重点是，她竟然叫我“大姐”！她去年可是叫我“小妹”的咯！这为 大婶，我想你也该去配副老花眼镜了吧！

郑重声明：我现在19岁4个月半，距离20岁还有漫长的7个月！

。尋找中@21:35

长得（稍微有点）胖有个好处：不常乱买衣服。
或许应该说，是没办法经常乱买衣服。

大家常说Bugis Street有很多便宜又好看的服装饰品，但是我不常光顾那里的商店。
不是因为我钱多，喜欢到乌节路花大钱（我也不常到那里购物），而是因为那里的服装尺寸都很小。
尺寸太小是个很大的问题。

便宜的衣服不是没有。
但是，适合我的尺寸的便宜衣服可就难找了。
每次看到便宜又中意的衣服，总是没有适合的尺寸。
也就因如此，我不常乱买衣服。

但是，我也很容易乱买衣服。
正因为合我心意又合我尺寸的衣服有够难找的，每当碰上时就很想买回去。
有一件服装店，就常常让我产生这种冲动。
或许考虑到上班族易发胖，BEGA的尺寸偏大。
看上的衣服，几乎都会有适合我的尺寸。
这让我相当感动，也让我想要“以身相许”。

但是，BEGA的衣服超贵的，一件上衣就是我将近两天的薪水！
叫我怎么下得了手嘛！

是怎样啦，胖的人一定很有钱喔？
之前买牛仔裤也是这样，尺寸大一点就要多付几元。
什么道理吗！
胖的人就没选择的权利喔？
歧视胖子喔？
要不是我没有设计天份，我早就去当服装设计师／裁缝师，为胖胖的女生做衣服了。

Haiz
我还在挂念着那几件上衣...

。尋找中@20:51