I can't remember when's the last time I did a proper blog post. It doesn't matter anyway, cuz I don't think anyone is reading. My tag board is uber dead. Either nobody's reading or my posts are really too boring. Actually I think it's the latter. Anyway...

Dr D. was talking about the personality profile of authoritarians when teaching Marxism during Communication History and Theories lecture, and I realized I fit that description almost perfectly - weak, low inner strength, desire for order, prejudiced, lead or be led (by a strong leader).

Weak, low inner strength... Regardless of how I may appear to be, I am weak inside - weak as in cowardly, weak as in unstable. I am afraid to offend, and as a result, afraid to speak, afraid to even think. I waver easily, unable to decide what to do, often having to depend on others to make the decision or influence me in my decision.

Desire for order... I used to be super neat. I'm not as neat now. Instead of keeping my physical possessions in order, I am far more concerned in order of situation. If I have a plan, I want things to go exactly as I have planned. One disruption will make me very pissed off.

Prejudiced... I guess everyone is prejudiced. Am I particularly prejudiced? I can be judgmental but I rarely express that. I am especially easily influenced by other people's prejudice as well.

Lead or be led... An authoritarian need not always be in control, says Dr D.; it's quite extreme. When I am in power, I want total control and I want people to follow exactly what I tell them to do. When I am not in power, I want my leader to control me and give me orders, and I will follow them as the best I can.

独裁主义 is nothing good. I cannot help it if my personality happens to match.

。尋找中@18:40